Do it. Seriously. If there’s one thing about a personality you should look for, it’s empathy.

I understand that other values may be more important to you personally and by all means look for both but if you have to pick one.. Pick empathy, every… Damn… Time..

Hear me out here. Ever had a manager that just can not understand why you called in sick? Even though you wouldn’t call in unless you were practically dying? Lack of empathy! (usually. Or just a very hurt person).

You can teach many things but having a brain capable of deep empathy is not a given unfortunately. Also empathetic people tend to get a raw deal since it is extremely exploitable by those who are not empathetic. People live by their own moral codes and if theirs has no ability to consider others… You can bet anyone in their path is going to suffer some way or another.

Now I’m not saying abandon all empathy lacking people. Narcissists are great party fillers with their charisma oozing out. Unfortunately when you really need them they’ll scatter and you’ll quickly see these people.

Advise to those living with people who lack empathy….? Either distance yourself somehow or, as a nerd, I tend to create a positive and negatives equation and if it turns out negative then unfortunately the relationship will have to budge. This doesn’t mean instantly cutting people off… Rather a slow break away unless things improve. You deserve happiness…. Yeah, even you! Even if you lack empathy… But let’s not make people suffer unnecessarily?

Be kind to one another 🙂

I tend to view things from a very fact based point of view, being a scientist it comes naturally to me. I realise however that most people are not like me..

See I’ve always loved family and you could even say some of the ‘traditions’ such as Christmas, going out for dinner etc etc. But I hope to at least convince you of why some traditions are in my opinion, holding back the entire human race and responsible for some horrific behaviours and allowances we would never normally make.

There are the extreme and horrible.. like genital mutilation. Then the wholesome.. like passing down a family heirloom. So my issue is less with traditions and more with the way we make allowances for horrific behaviours simply for tradition.

So keep up those lovely traditions… But let’s scrap the horrible ones? And stop making it okay to use tradition as an excuse.

Being vulnerable is rarely spoken about in a positive light. We see it as a negative… Like sitting on a public toilet with a broken lock with your foot awkwardly pushed against the door. I promise this has never happened to me…. Ever….

By the end of this post I hope to convince you that vulnerability can be your own superpower. Hear me out.. We all know deep down that when somebody is vulnerable we tend to want to help them, simple human nature. Yet when we are vulnerable ourselves we believe the opposite.

Consider a child. The personification of vulnerability, we are drawn to take care of them naturally… So how do we exploit this? (hopefully not to be a lazy manchild but if it works by all means.. )

We all know in an argument it can be tough to concede when things get heated but imagine if the other person in the argument were to say that they were upset and hurt. It would immediately be tough to further punish and upset the individual.

Vulnerability has its boundaries, being vulnerable with a boss at work when brand new may come across as if you are unable to handle the job. But I would argue that once they discover you are capable then it can help gain respect and rapport quicker to be vulnerable.

It’s crucial to note that the style of vulnerability is important. You want to come across as emotionally stable. Examples of this are – acknowledging you lack the knowledge rather than saying you do, asking for help even when it is not required to build bonds and trust.

The most important example of vulnerability is the ability to discuss problems and conceding personal faults. This allows for others to see you are not acting out of ego and then be more willing to then discuss their own faults. This behaviour is almost infective, meaning one person will help another who will help another.

Men account for much of suicide statistics. I believe this stems from the lack of vulnerability in comparison to women as well as hiding and ignoring emotions. We are always told as men and boys to show vulnerability is to show weakness. I would argue that being vulnerable requires more strength than hiding it.

I will explain my story in it’s own blog post but if I tell you one thing its that vulnerability saved my life. Once I gave myself permission to be upset my depression began to lift (after a suicidal 3 days unfortunately).

Do not compare your trauma. You can’t appreciate what you havent experienced. Saying things like ‘they have it much worse’ is shielding yourself from being vulnerable.

So there you have it. I hope I’ve convinced you to utilise vulnerability in your life. It can be infectious and you’ll find it will help more than just yourself.

First of all.. I need to state that I hate the idea of self improvement videos and blogs. Nothing makes me feel like blowing chunks than some imitation of Shia LaBeouf shouting ‘do itt’ while the other person screams back. One thing I hope to impress early on is that while this may contain a wealth of information that could help people, its one thing to read about adversity and another to experience it.

Adversity is a cruel but powerful teacher.

We all experience a world shattering event at some stage in our lives. This is usually because we are taught from a young age that life is fair and karma exists. Great examples of this are things like ‘poor people deserve it because they are lazy’ and ‘rich people work hard’ when in reality there is no basis for this. Therefore experiencing the unfair reality for the first time in your life will have a profound effect.

You may think not experiencing adversity would be a great way to avoid the struggle but it is important to understand that while not experiencing adversity allows for a peaceful existence, it allows for little growth and self improvement as well as a lack of empathy for others going through adversity.

One thing you must possess for any of this to work is the ability to assess your faults and willingness to change. All other faults can be worked on but unwillingness is impossible.

I see most of the worlds problems caused by the disconnect between emotions and actions. Frustration is not an action, anger or being upset is the action. Most of the arguments in the world stem from two hurt people wanting to be loved.

If you’re still here then I hope you will continue to read on! Thank you